March 2008
9 posts
Foam at Home
Apologies for my time away. I’ve been thinking about a new do-it-yourself book i’m going to write, called Foam at Home. There will be a chapter about different foam mattresses, there will be a chapter about how to insulate your house, one about sound-proofing, one about rated-NC-17-type-stuff, one about, duh, molecular gastronomy, and, i donno, updates to come.
Politics
Dream. Ticket.
Clogs
I’m bringin’em back.
70-Day Zander
In seventy days, on the corner of Art Poser St. and Broken Promises Ave., near The Mandrake, 90-Day Jane will be hit by a 1999 Silver Volvo Wagon. She will die, and the joke will be on her.
Terrence Malick Meets The Farrelly Bros.
I’m going to rewrite a script I once wrote and direct it under the title The Assassination of Leonardo Di Caprio by the Coward Lucas Haas. It will have really long, luscious composed shots of grass blowing in the wind, and really good sound editing of crickets chirping in the distance, but it will be about Lucas Haas secretly plotting to kill his best friend. And yes, there will be lots of...
Hancock Park v. Hollywood Hills
So, at some point in the near future, my investment in Mega Millions* lottery tickets is going to pay off in a big way and I’m going to have a big decision to make: do I buy a nice house in Hancock park, which is about five minutes away from everything cool in the world, or do I buy a really cozy place up in the hills, which is quieter, more conducive to lounging around and feeling superior...
That Awesome Place
I’m going to open a restaurant called That Awesome Place in Monaco. The lighting will be really really dim, its only source being candles and the enormous fireplace in which food will be cooked on spits and in dutch ovens. The space will be in the basement, or cave, of a 16th century stone building, and the food will taste like sin. When rad people are looking for something to do in...
Introducing Delusion of the Day
I have a long, constantly evolving list of hopes and dreams. Regularly, I conjure* up unattainable goals and then, for anywhere between five minutes and twenty-four years, I pretend that they are completely reasonable, that, in fact, I am slowly moving toward achieving every one of them in some untraceable eastern-mindset kind of way. My friend Nick, on whose website I plan to syndicate this...